HNT #61 - My Standards for having Sex with You!

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HNT #60 - Getting Scapegoated is getting Crucified!

LEGAL OPINION FROM JUSTANSWER.COM: I have received a FL & CA lawyer's legal consultation that opening someone else's eMail without permission warrants an action against the unauthorized opener for invasion of privacy of the owner of a cell phone with eMail access. It warrants further action as a case of computer pirating of the owner of the eMail account. The lawyer continues, "YOU appear to have an action against her boyfriend for invasion of your privacy as well since you had a reasonable expectation that your eMails would remain private."

I don't know every essential detail of this case but they include that a new boyfriend (bf) of a platonic bartender friend of mine seems to be jealous, of all people, of MOI! LMAO! This bf must be projecting HIS motives onto me &, ironically, I am the last person who would adopt HIS motives now that I know them better. Overly self-centered and hedonistic, best I can tell. He appears to be using a power play from any of the several available "Pick-Up Artist" (PUA) systems by such authors as Neil Strauss or David DeAngelo. These are control-freak systems full of manipulative sociopathy techniques to "win" as a Bad Boy tricking women into bed with mind games for free pussy to suit the whims of the PUA. I do not care to gossip & I have never spoken negatively or thought like this about this bf before, but I had no reason to before.

I am concerned for this female friend because she has begun to appear "desperate" to keep her recently-acquired bf as she thinks they are very compatible in most activities and she has been feeling the nesting instinct strongly over the last 2 years, I am sure. Too strongly to wait for another highly compatible partner to arrive in her life. She also seems to have a significant Bad Boy Addiction that she is in denial over. She knows well and good that I am NOT a Bad Boy and that I despise mind games ANYone plays. (They all choose not to see thru the twisted psychology like I can as a sensitive psych-major type.) However, she read the riot act to the bf in front of his friends last Friday night when she discovered his unauthorized invasion of the privacy of our old eMails and she stormed off loudly from a downtown club. BUT, by doing this, she risked losing the only current realistic love in her life. I am 30 years older and dedicated to a platonic, professor-like relationship with her so it should be obvious to everyone that I am no threat to the bf. I am just her platonic friend who never meets her outside the bar and has no contact except weekly emails she promised to send in return for help buying a computer a year ago.

Of course, she is just playing into his control-freak ways by not continuing to be outraged at his overcontrolling and sneaky snoop-behavior. (They appear nowhere near becoming engaged and have been a confirmed couple in public only since last Christmas, '09.) But somewhere between trading Valentine's gifts with me at the bar on Friday and Valentine's Day noon on Sunday, she encountered this crisis encounter Friday night and must have spent the next 36 hours deciding her only viable option for security and potential marriage in the near future. Now, she is throwing the other victim (ME) "under the bus," and identifying with her privacy-invader by scapegoating ME and banning me from visiting her at the bar and from future communication. Undoubtedly, for show to keep the controlling bf feeling happy & secure. If I didn't know what was going on psychologically, I'd be saying "WTF, Charlie?" This reminds me of my ex-wife's mental meltdown to get her own selfish way with a no-fault divorce that Florida law does not allow contesting. "Don't confuse me with the facts, my mind's already made up!"

I will only take the bf to court if this continues to escalate somehow -- but the illegally-gained damage is done already! As long as my former friend is not patient enough to keep her options open and date around looking for someone better suited for marriage, I'll just have to lose my entire social life which has been visiting her twice weekly at that bar. (HER choice, not mine -- WTF did I do? Nothing -- I'm just the NICE guy here that it's easy to pull this shit on!) She probably rationalizes it by saying the truth: In fact, I will save on any more wasted time and extra tip money now!

I have a new conclusion about American women thanks to all this bullshit. Older women may not look as good, but party girls don't think so well! I am just going to be an occasionally-sociable hermit!! That's better than becoming one of these mindgaming manipulators who make bad names for psychology by playing a freak to control and scapegoat the innocent people they offend illegally. At least, my house will finally get spotless and I'll have lots of money to spend elsewhere!! Too bad I'm not into Craig's List whores or St Pete strip clubs!!

HNT #59 - Erection Modesty

Well, I had to stretch to get this HNT post--only the tiniest bit of skin shows. But you get the idea as you can see me "stretching" if you look closely. The reason for the stretch is peeking out BEHIND my stretch in the pic. Some guys will do ANYTHING to get an HNT pic to post, LOL!

I've been discussing a very personal issue with a couple of very sexy young women who just "don't get it" (in more ways than one, darn it). The issue is my relatively strict-celibacy for the last 15 years of my divorced life! Over the weekend, I sent them a couple of eMails dealing with what we were talking about and the rest of today's article has the essence of those eMails. These girls are good friends and we care about each other, but our life experiences and values in a few "modern areas" are very different. Because I value them as friends, I would like them to understand my position and feelings even though they don't seem to think we can have such differences and all be of sane thinking! They don't have the age or formal education that I do and I need to be sensitive in my explanations, and not insult or alienate because of MY value biases. Sometimes, that is unavoidable although unintended; but, if we remain open to dialogue & communication with each other, we can smooth over rough spots with apologies and improved awareness.

The basic topic was what to do about Richard and his celibacy/attitude. I couldn't believe it when one said "You can't have standards," and the other referred to facts of life "of the MODERN world."

HOLY CRAP, BATDOG!! MY WHOLE LIFE HAS BEEN ONE FILLED WITH STANDARDS AND MEETING THEM FOR THE AF ACADEMY, MILITARY OFFICER LIFE, COLLEGE PROFESSOR ETHICS, GOOD CATHOLIC HUSBAND & FATHER, SINGLE PARENT GUIDING/RAISING SON W/ NO SUPPORT SYSTEM, SCOUTMASTER, COLLEGE GUIDANCE COUNSELOR, ETC. NOW, YOU TELL ME I CAN'T HAVE STANDARDS, MYSELF?! I am bothered greatly that the "modern world" has piss-poor standards in this area of mate selection and sexual morality as in many other self-serving behaviors. It just harkens me back to my EX- whose world had to have been operating under the same piss-poor, manipulative, "irresponsible civilian" bullshit (my opinions, of course) until she met me. It meant she was able secretly to revert to her sociopathic, manipulative behavior to "just get her own way" -- a hallmark of the modern American world altho that is a mentally-ill way of operating. (Please recall my Mental Health Counselor License and 3 awarded degrees in psychology & counseling to say nothing of my A.B.D. in psych. Maybe college-oriented people are more concerned with "standards" because they have to deal with them daily in academic affairs; especially, those of us who really had little chance to develop our hedonism and who don't need to "justify" our behavior by denying the relevance or value of much of the non-hedonist world.)

My eMail contained this:
"Anyway, involved in this or not, thank you both for your loving concern to set me straight (so to speak, LOL). I am still musing over the phrase, 'You CAN'T have STANDARDS!' which is really contrary to everything I have done in and with my not-inconsequential fifty-something years of life! I'm not about to change much now so maybe all the "modern girls" will just miss out. I have always gone for QUALITY, NOT QUANTITY and, after all, I DO have Manolita/ Palmela/ Jill anytime I want! LOL

Here's another reason of mine you would never have thought of if you are not aware of Catholic Christian requirements, I'd bet. I hadn't thought of this for a few months but it does apply too (in addition to all the other reasons I have). In the Catholic Church, my ex- & I were still married until she died 1 year ago. ('Until Death do you part' is a general Christian requirement/standard directly out of the wedding ceremony in most Christian churches I know of). We've all heard this phrase in movies before, eh?

A civil divorce does not invalidate any Catholic marriage sacramentalized in the Church wedding ceremony. If my ex- or I had sexual relations with anyone else besides each other until one of us died, Catholic doctine would see it as a grave sin of Adultery, keeping us out of Heaven, and being prosecutable in a Church court. Most Catholics in the US probably don't go to the Church court unless they are trying to get a Church annulment because such courts have no power over anything not solely Church-related (like the right to take Communion or have a sacramental Church wedding). In a non-Catholic nation, civil court jurisdiction decides all the 'important things' in the civil world affecting the divorcing partners like dividing money & property & children's time. It is mental busy-work to no end for Catholics to bother with a Church court unless they want to remarry someday in the Catholic Church. But most Americans now over 40 have been ingrained with believing the concept of marriage as 'until Death do us part'! For a serious person like ME (probably not her) who has always tried to live a life consistent with the major tenets of my Church, I would not feel free of adultery if I'd had sexual intercourse with someone new before Oct 9, 2008. And then, only after a couple more months of getting used to feeling truly free again.

This is probably not right for YOU, but we are not questioning YOUR handling of the situation. We are talking about your difficulty accepting me and my thinking & motivations in handling it altho being expressed honestly -- this is just an honest difference between the ways we were both raised and taught to believe about what is right. Yours is right for you, just as mine is right for me. That's why we have the American concept of Freedom of Religion -- you cannot really understand my values & views from your religious viewpoint if yours is from a significantly different faith than mine. Not unless you are also open to understanding the differences and accept that I have the right to my beliefs and feelings and values which are different from yours (but still honest and every bit as worthy for me as the way you have worked out yours for you). We are just different in these perceptions -- We can still be friends, just friends who disagree about what is right or best in this particular instance! That's about the only way all Americans can really get along, I think. Otherwise, our diversity makes us non-understanding adversaries, not friends.

I'm open to feedback but not to debating whether this is right or wrong. It is a feeling & feelings are, by definition, ILLOGICAL: good or bad, happy or sad, but not right or wrong. We have to feel how we feel -- just not necessarily ACT on the feelings!"

HNT #58 - The Boys & the Bird

Hello! These are the Christmas 2009 fotos of my sons and me at my Tampa Bay MH Park. FINALLY, THEY BOTH CAME DOWN to visit! Over a 4-year absence for Ken and only the 2nd visit in 2 years for Rik. Of course, their mother didn't interfere this time by having her October ashes taken back by them to Texas over Xmas like last year for burial.


Above, on the left are Rich & Rik in front of Rik's "new" 100th Anniversary of Harley-Davidson Commemorative Ford F-150 Pickup (2003)! Beautiful pickup truck with all the trimmings! Now that he's got a decent job with the State of Florida (eligible due to completing his Bachelor's Degree in 2005), he can afford all the trimmings for the first time in his life as an adult on his own. It took awhile because State jobs don't come open often in Tallahassee -- but if he hadn't finished his BS degree, he'd NEVER have gotten an interview!



Imagine a Florida Gator who partied too much in Gainesville his freshman year so that he had to finish his education all on his own elsewhere (paying back government loans now) AND EVENTUALLY GRADUATE FROM FSU!! Still, on that one day a year when Gators & Noles battle in the football stadium, his primitive, reptilian sports-team brain comes to life & reverts him back to being a Gator. He's lucky cuz "MY school" (FSU) is rebuilding and UF has been winning this bitter state football rivalry, lately. He has won our "dinner-out" bet 2 or 3 years in a row.


On the right, Rich and Ken, the younger son of the same 2 parents, are standing behind Rik's truck just before Sunday goodbyes after Christmas. Ken was heading back to Orlando (only 2 hours away compared to 5 1/2 from "Tally" to continue HIS post-secondary school experience: the Motorcycle Mechanics Institute where he is having good success due to hard work and focus due to his enthusiasm and interest in this field of work! Only 13 months to go!



Ken has MORE tats than I do & here's a pic of us showing off our tats at WingHouse with my favorite "serving wench!" This was a special hug from her & I love it! MUAH, Girl!

A couple of weeks ago, my 1959 Ford Thunderbird original "Survivor" was in my car guy, Ted's, shop with him starting the restoration with the few safety items most essential for driving.
















The BRAKES were the most important to fix, and he replaced all components in the system including all new steel lines to each wheel as well as the engine compartment master cylinder. All engine hoses were replaced and the silver valve covers above were replaced with sand-blasted originals he found stored in the T-Bird's trunk. He repainted them blue as the voltage regulator above is to restore their original color, and I think it is an interesting note that the T-Bird's colors when restored are planned to be red, white, and blue (with an understated patriotic feeling.) Ted thought that would certainly be appropriate considering my father's and my full military careers in service to our country (and, I might add, considering my sons' & my Eagle Scout or near-Eagle Scout backgrounds.)

Ted has already done countless other things like completely hand-repacking new wheel bearings with new grease; also, like checking the engine's compression before he ever tried to start it to be sure the pressure indicated the piston chambers were still well lubricated, and it would not endanger the engine to start it up. Countless other little things I do not remember now, he listed having done as we discussed progress over the last 3 weeks. His previously unspecified charge for labor was very reasonable and generous when he finally determined what it was after encountering the work itself and finally knew the difficulty & length of time it took.

Of course, I am in no hurry to have this finished so Ted finds it convenient & to his advantage in restoring the T-Bird along with the major renovation of a country estate property he purchased recently and is completing by himself and the help of friends. That unspecified labor charge was the one thing I was leery of until now -- not wanting to have "bought a pig in a poke" in advance. His statement afterwards rang true that a regular auto shop would have charged 3 or 4 times as much for labor in such a restoration job. We have much more work to do but I am feeling much better about his labor charges, now. After he installs a new Lo-Jack anti-theft system, I could stop anytime for any reason because he has already put the car in a safe, operational condition. He is dying to get me to re-title it ASAP & get Florida tags so we can show it off even NOW at a weekly meeting of classic car owners in St. Petersburg!

HNT #57 - Girlie Tat mostly done now!

News #1. Latest Ink: Her legs, watch arm and pink border. She seemed like so much a part of me that we made "cuts" in my armpit where she appears to be coming out of my body! The little trail of white plasma bubbles behind her neck have disappeared now.

It's been awhile since this tat got started back in September-October. I've had 3 sessions getting ink added to my Gangsta Girlie and I want some clarification before further adjustments that may have been unclear during the last session! I really want the pink aura to be wider by 1/4 - 3/8 ". My artist is getting ready to do a big back piece of the Virgin of Guadalupe on someone else & I think he was inspired by those thoughts to put MY pink ink streaming out like in the Virgin piece. However, I want NOTHING on my body to remind me of my Tex-Mex-ex- with whom I drove through Mexico to visit the original Mexico City shrine to the Virgen de Guadalupe. So this will have to change, and a wider "aura" would do the job nicely.

News #2. Drastic new development in the life of my younger son whom I raised for 7 years all alone (ages 8 - 15) until his testosterone-fueled ADHD had him bail out on ME and go to his mommy's place so he could be spoiled rotten and show unwarranted disrespect for me with great defiance & rudeness. Be careful what you ask God for: I had thought my prayers were answered when I got him back to live with me so I could raise him well. Wonderful at first, but when ex- moved to town after 6 years, and he reached age-15, this son became the thankless , willful minion of one crazy she-Devil-consort of Satan. She's dead now but the damage she caused still lingers in all our lives in MY family! If I were to tell you what I call her in daily outrage at her uncalled-for BS, you would automatically take HER side thinking she couldn't have been THAT bad! HA! Easy for YOU to say!

That's the Bad & the Ugly -- Let me tell you about the GOOD development! Unbeknownst to me, this younger son re-examined an excellent Motorcycle Mechanics Institute program in Orlando and enrolled in classes beginning a 14-month course of study which will lead to his certification as a Harley-Davidson trained specialist (maybe more specialties if he extends his studies.) He has moved his living place from Tallahassee to Orlando in a very nice, upscale lodging facility which provides some maid care. He is studying as a fulltime student successfully at the only major campus east of the Mississippi in this field and is doing well fairly easily for the first time in his academic life!

I KNEW it would be just right for him 5 years ago because it is a subject he LOVES learning about, can relate to his own Harley-Davidson moto, and realizes this is his last chance at post-H.S. study which will actually enable him to support himself with well-paid work the rest of his life! He finally GETS it and his brain's nerve endings seem to have matured enough that he is able to focus and resist impulses now that he would not or could not at 15! Florida will always have good motorcycles to work on because it usually has good motorcycle weather! This is all not only GOOD news, this is GREAT news!!!

Now, everything important in my life would be happy if I could just find out the cell phone number of my real-life Gangsta-Girlie. We trade plenty of eMail, but sometimes I need to make text message contact with timely info important to HER & it ain't happening. This is either gonna get a whole lot better or a whole lot worse! LOL

News #3. SO... here are pics of a little silver jewelry that a friend loves to play with at our bar and I love to see another female friend borrow and make nicely erect (Freudian wish fulfillment for the former counselor in me). The same lady friend recommended I see the popular 2009

movie "Spread" with Ashton Kutcher & Anne Heche.

My reply to her asking if I liked it: "Yes... and NO! I must say that I understood the whole thing in 'SPREAD' totally -- being all a bunch of fucking gameplaying and you must know what I meant about NOT liking all the fucking, phony, manipulative, bullshit games they play in the movie with each other. I have NEVER BEEN ONE OF THOSE KINDS OF GUYS THO like Ashton Kutcher played, and I hate how when women get USED, they turn around and start USING GUYS with the same sort of BS games! It is both the result of and cause of mental problems!!

And it confirms what I've recognized for a longtime -- that BC (birth control) technology has turned American girls into a bunch of fuck-fiends as bad as guys ALWAYS WERE reported to have been. You may prefer to say 'hedonists' rather than 'fuck-fiends.' But as for me, I could easily have become an honest Catholic priest 'cuz I have upheld the celibacy rule a helluva lot better than the bad 5% of all priests who caused 99.9% of the recent scandal in the Church. Take it for what it's worth, these attitudes and behaviors cause big problems in today's world. And interesting & seductive as they are, the movies that glorify this also perpetuate it! Thankfully, this flick also exposes what Bullshit it really is and how it leaves phony lives very hollow afterwards. But for a parting shot, I leave you with this little idea, "It pays to advertise!" ~Bon appetit!

Iraqi Insight from Inside Iraq! (Unbiased view.)

This was forwarded to me from a West Point grad whose classmate met with a distinguished Iraqi IN Iraq a couple of weeks ago, and the grad originated this forward! Read on for a reminder & some insight:

______________________________________________
Classification: UNCLASSIFIED Caveats: NONE
From a classmate stationed in Iraq…

Sent: Thursday, October 22, 2009 5:40 AMTo: Undisclosed-Recipient:;
Subject: The Sweetest of All Gifts

Much has been made of the episode wherein an Iraqi news reporter threw a shoe at GW when he was over here late last year. Many saw it as the pivotal expression of his supposed folly. Two days ago, I was in Najaf, the most sacred of Shia holy places. I carried on a conversation with two men until late into the night. One of them is a professor at James Madison U in Virginia (he intends to invite me to speak there); the other is an Iraqi man whose entire family was massacred; who led large Iraqi forces in alliance with US forces against Saddam. He is incredibly articulate in English (and I don't mean "for a non-native speaker"); he is both a US and an Iraqi citizen, with amazing insights into this country. The professor asked him for his most illustrative example of changes in Iraq. Below is a paraphrased rendition of his comments:

"Last week, the man who threw his shoes at George W. Bush was set free from prison. Think of how mind-boggling that is. If he had done the same to Saddam, the dictator would have personally shot him on the spot. Instead, he was detained, went to trial, was sentenced to three years, and released after 1 year for good behavior because that is what the law requires! We are now a nation of laws.

"That is a tribute to George W. Bush. And, he gave us the sweetest of all gifts: freedom. That is why we love him over here. There was a time when we feared to say anything to anyone. No more. Now, we all speak out. That in a country that suffered for 50 years. We have come that distance in only six. Mind-boggling."



[RichardShhh adds: Now, if we can only cause the same kind of change in Afghanistan! Americans, you gotta learn patience--only New Yorkers operate on a New York minute!!! And, FYI, I have been a US military combatant under enemy fire in Vietnam, Laos, El Salvador, Honduras, and Grenada--Don't misunderstand my loyalties!]

HNT #56 - Quickie first look at New Ink on Girlie Tat in Progress

First Entry(Wednesday):
Later pic posting may be a little raggedy as I write this 8 hours before I go get new ink added tonight on my unfinished Gangsta Girlie tattoo. The first ink is completely healed and I may wait for a 3rd session later to finish her legs as they are quite painful down in my armpit.

Second Entry(Thursday):
OK, it's a day later, I have new ink (see pic), and I'm out of time to write but my tattooist will need a 3rd session to finish most of the new tat of my Gangsta Girlie. So I'll post this and run -- and say "Happy HNT as well as Halloween" to you all! Florida and Texas readers, this Saturday the WingHouse girls will be "Dressed to Impress" in what are usually very revealing & fancy costumes (not their regular WH uniforms) which show MUCH more of their beauty than their normal WH uniforms! (Get it?)

Did you know the WH Girls (including bartenders) make about 1/2 of the minimum wage from the company, and THEY COUNT ON UR TIP $$ to make a LIVING wage? Be sure to leave the Girls nice, generous tips -- they will need them to break even on what they have to spend for their Dress-Up Day costumes for you!

HNT #55 - New Gangsta Girlie Pic Tattoo

OK, Folks, I DID it! I got the first half of a very good tattoo done which looks amazingly similar to a girl I know! How did THAT happen? Go figure....
Ur first peek is inserted above and I plan to finish with the full, unfinished tatt showing all the way down to my (OWWW!!!) armpit at the end of this post. !Muy Delicado, Senyorita!

Now, in all honesty, I asked my tattoo artist to do his magic and turn the opaque, black bustier pic he's drawing from into a translucent, negligee-like bustier using our best (lusty) imaginations. I have never seen this in real life but I LIKE his imaginary artwork!! (He is internationally recognized and has dozens of trophies for his tattoo work.) And I think I am falling in love with my left arm! (I'll let you imagine a vulgar follow-on line to that cuz they're easy!) LOL

I have to wait about 2 weeks for this skin to heal over & seal before we add more skin perforations and newer ink to finish the tattoo. Mike Sizemore, the artist, has pics of a gorgeous, large piece he did of Jenna Jameson in a bikini, and he plans to use the same revolutionary techniques to portray similar beauty in MY gangsta girlie's tat skin tones. NO black outline around the body! Unfortunately, this will take longer & cost more money, but it will be uniquely beautiful! Since it will likely be my last tattoo ever, why not? As long as my AF retired pay still gets direct-deposited to the bank, I'll be able to cover it. My next post won't be for a couple of weeks as I'll be waiting to finish the tat & show you! However, I WILL continue to change the sexy little pics on the right of this blog.

Here's to YOU, Babe..... Love, Always & Forever! (Just like a tattoo...)

HNT #54 - My Current Sex Life!

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HNT #53: The collection grows (& that's not ALL)!

Amorous Rocker, look what I have to show you here!!! I am still fixing up this wall-art-sculpture but she swore me to secrecy over whose shorts I got into. She must have liked how I did it tho, cuz u'll notice there's a red bra now inside the top!!! Ooo-la-la! Yet, things are not always as they seem...

For HNT tanning bed enthusiasts, I present Cock-in-a-Sock (almost sounds like "fast food," eh?:

HNT #52: Tanning Bed Pic & my home shrine to WingHouse Girls!

"Twitter" : I'm watching VH-1. Taylor Swift's video of "You Belong with Me" just flashed me back to my H.S. Class Prom I HAD to attend cuz I was the Class President but I went "Stag" (cuz my Dad never allowed me to learn to dance which forced me to become a near-Perpetual Virgin.) This STILL impacts my behavior and life today! Un-fucking-believable. (Old habits die hard -- good OR bad!)

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Speaking HOPEFULLY, I just recalled that I got my #1 fave WH Girl to take her shirt off for me last night! Ha-ha, I'm leading you ON a little! She took it off alone in private and gave it to me afterwards to put on the wall of my new "home saloon" & entertainment parlor since it's a WingHouse Girl's uniform shirt, and I bought her a new one to replace it! When I get it stapled on the wall, I'll get a pic of it to post here! [Done.] I've decided to get her shorts off next! LOL